I've wasted my summer doing nothing when original plan was that it's going to be, a productive one. It always happens. And it's really annoying. I've never really accepted the fact that THINGS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN THE WAY YOU PICTURE THEM. and it sucks. When sometimes you've chosen the best options and have all the good intentions YET FATE WINS. I've been a huge mess lately. Doing what reckless and stupid teenagers do. Believe me, it's not funny anymore -- IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME. I promised myself that I won't be doing what THEY do but I found myself breaking and bending all the rules I made. It's just sad when you suddenly realize that YOU'VE BECOME THE PERSON YOU NEVER WANTED TO BE. I know I'm pretty stubborn but I was never this.....shitty :| I am happy, YES. but i feel that there's something wrong.