There goes a fighter.

There goes a fighter;

Monday, May 31, 2010

Until then, I oblige.

The reason why I hadn't been blogging so much lately is because I've been pretty busy with things.

I got myself a BDJ 2010 POWER PLANNER ♥

because I name all my favorite things, this is now INKA.

Don't ask why please, I don't know why either.

I don't really think it's too late to get one since there are still six months to go before the year 2010 ends. I've come to realize that for the past 14 months I've been so unorganized and I need space to write down thoughts.

Guess what? The diet's working. I weighed just the other day and I lost about 10 pounds. SRSLY. hahahahaha. Breakfast,Lunch,Dinner-WATER :) I stopped eating chicken skin, halo-halo,mudpie ice cream and I don't drink Iced tea,Coke,Pepsi and Slurpee anymore :) :""""">

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

MADIE CRUZ.

NOBODY IS PERFECT , YES?

There will be countless times where people who barely know you will judge you and tell you things that would tear you down. People would always try to rub in your negativities and use your visible weaknesses against you. DON'T LET THEM WIN. Remember : when people try to tell you who you are keep in mind that they are not to tell you. YOU ARE TO TELL THEM.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Can we pretend that airplanes are like shooting stars?

I didn't actually see it. I went out and I didn't see the moon. So yeah . Ako na ang bulag :)) :|

HELLOOO RETAIIIIIINERS ♥

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Lesson # 1232736232.

DON'T EVER BREAK FOR SOMEONE WHO CAN'T EVEN BEND FOR YOU.

Truth is, Everyone in this world's going to end up hurting you.

JUST GO FIND THE ONES WORTH SUFFERING FOR.

The whole 'i'll never hurt you' thing is one huge piece of bullcrap. Fate would always win. Life happens. The people who promised that they wont hurt you would be the ones giving you the 'eats-you-up-and-rips-you-apart' kind of feeling. Sometimes even worse, a couple of people find it amusing when you're down. To cut it short : There will always be things that're going to test your limits. Although,not all of them are worth your time. Don't let it get to you always. Suffer for those who're worth it :)

Friday, May 14, 2010

Guess what?

The Philippines is a corrupted,cancer-ill, third world country.

Let me rephrase that for you, I could've gone elsewhere than stay in this place.

But no, I didn't. I stayed. You know why?

'Cos one person makes staying here worth it.

Life is too short to be unhappy.

THE BEST THING ABOUT A PICTURE IS THAT IT NEVER CHANGES;

EVEN IF THE PEOPLE IN IT DO.

hello Ivan Mabanag,Shea Barrameda and Ryan Torres :)

you guys made my 051210 so freakin' awesome ♥

I love you people :)

Saturday, May 8, 2010

'she's my everything'

That guy over there is Trevor Roger Dimitri Cortez. And he is my bestfriend. We haven't met each other personally, kinda weird yes? But I could prove to all of you who're reading this that we really are bestfriends. For me, a bestfriend is someone who'll be there for you, someone who won't get tired of all your drama and crap, someone who you could run to when you feel like the weight of the earth's pouring down on you,someone you could call and cry to without getting annoyed, someone who won't hate you even if he knows your worst attitudes and gross-est habits, someone who'd tell you what you're supposed to hear even if it's gonna hurt you 'coz he knows you have to and he cares--He won't tolerate your wrong doings just because he's your 'friend'. GUESS WHAT?HE WAS ALL THAT. He was always open. He never judged me by the mistakes I comitted. He tells me everything I have to hear even if it's gonna hurt a bit 'cos he cares. He doesn't tolerate my wrongdoings just because he's my bestfriend. He listens to me - EVEN IF THERE ARE A THOUSAND THINGS HE COULD'VE BEEN DOING THAT CERTAIN TIME. He's always willing to take my crap.

Once, I was suffering from a break-up, he was the one I called. I told him everything, the whole story. HE WAS NOT THE FIRST PERSON I TALKED TO BUT HE SURE AS HELL WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO OPEN UP MY EYES. He made me realize that there really are plenty of fish in the sea. That I deserved someone better and that he was never the best for me. Truth is, I may not have gotten over the break up if it wasn't for him. I heard him say words I never thought he'd say. I never thought he cared for me that much. It didn't end there, occasionally, he'd send me offline messages saying 'Uy, Ingat ka ha. Babalik yan. Miss ko na kakulitan mo' and things like that. I am lucky to have a friend like him. or should i say...a brother :)

This afternoon, he told me something that made me break down into tears. He said that he'd be leaving next month for US. He told me the reasons and one of them made me cry even more.

I'd rather not mention it but it's something you never knew that happens in real life.

Trevs Cortez (5/8/2010 2:03:55 PM): Tapos...

Trevs Cortez (5/8/2010 2:04:04 PM): Gusto ko sana kitain kayong lahat.

Trevs Cortez (5/8/2010 2:04:13 PM): Basta, lahat kayo.

Trevs Cortez (5/8/2010 2:04:17 PM): Si Bea, Ikaw... ganun.

Trevs Cortez (5/8/2010 2:04:31 PM): The deal is, I'm confined till the flight.

Trevs Cortez (5/8/2010 2:04:36 PM): Confined in this house.

Trevs Cortez (5/8/2010 2:04:44 PM): At bantay sarado na kami ng tatay ko.

Trevs Cortez (5/8/2010 2:04:53 PM): Gustong-gusto kong gawin, makita si *****.

Trevs Cortez (5/8/2010 2:04:56 PM): Kasi, alam mo yun?

Trevs Cortez (5/8/2010 2:05:00 PM): UTAK KO PUNO NG *****.

Upon reading those words , I felt his pain. I knew how hard it was to want to see someone so bad and yet you can't do anything. He told me the reason why he was confined. He did something that angered his dad. And HE DID IT FOR LOVE. Shit lang. That's one lucky girl right there.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Wishing I could be on that bed again.

WILL SHE WATCH YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES?

WILL SHE HOLD YOU WHEN YOU CRY?

WILL SHE LET YOU TELL YOUR FAVORITE PARTS WHEN YOU'VE SEEN IT A MILLION TIMES?

WILL SHE SING TO ALL YOUR MUSIC?

WHILE YOU DANCE TO PURPLE RAIN.

WILL SHE DO ALL THOSE THINGS,LIKE I USED TO?

LIKE WE USED TO?

WILL SHE LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVED YOU?

WILL SHE TELL YOU EVERYDAY?

WILL SHE MAKE YOU FEEL INVINCIBLE WITH EVERY WORD SHE'LL SAY?

I miss you. You're on my mind. And I know, you don't need me anymore.

Can you just promise me one thing? Don't throw it all away.

Never say never.

Remember this? World War II. When the jews lives were made miserable by the nazi's? Or whatever they were called. Have you ever thought how they were able to find a spark of joy in those situations? According to philosophy, we filipinos are Resilient. Like, we could go through anything. Although we're not like those who go through much suffering but end up great. That's because we don't really pay much attention to the pain--we laugh it off. Those jews who were under hitler for years , ALOT of them became great people because they accepted their suffering and created meaning over it and that's what we filipinos lack. We should accept our weaknesses and use them against the others.

Incomparable pain.

THE PAIN OF SEEING THINGS CHANGE WHEN YOU WANT THEM TO STAY THE SAME COULD KILL YOU FASTER THAN ANY FEARED EPIDEMIC.

yes, i'm being nostalgic.AGAIN.I wish I could bring that time back. I swear to God. I've never been any happier.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Suddenly, I missed you.

1.I love you because you're NOT perfect -- And that's the best thing about you.

2.I love you because you make me feel as if I'm the luckiest girl alive.

3.I love you because you helped me realized how much my MOM loves me even when I don't really understand why she acts the way she does.

4.I love you because you're never too tired to help me with my projects - You and your drawing skills are friggin' awesome.

5.I love you because you don't judge me by the things I've done in the past.

6.I love you because I know you're going to be there for me through it all.

7.I love you because you never fail to make me laugh with you corny jokes.

8.I love you because you taught me who God really is to me.

9. I love you because you ALWAYS tell me how beautiful I am in your eyes.

10.I love you because you sacrifice your own happiness for my sake.

11.I love you because you stop me from doing the WRONG thing even if we're BOTH going to BENEFIT from it.

12.I love you because you make me feel like I'm Bella Swan 'cos of the letters you give me.

13.I love you because you're proud of me. Even if there's no reason for you to be.

14.I love you because I know I'm never ever going to find someone like you.

15.I love you because it's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece.

16.I love you because you're YOU.

I love you for every possible reason known. You have my heart and you always will.

---I wrote this about 3 months ago. HE USED TO BE MY EVERYTHING. And shit, we treat each other now like we've never gone throught anything together. YES,I still do love you -- as a friend,that is. I wanna feel the same again. I wanna that way again. I want to fall inlove again :(

FALLING.

I've wasted my summer doing nothing when original plan was that it's going to be, a productive one. It always happens. And it's really annoying. I've never really accepted the fact that THINGS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN THE WAY YOU PICTURE THEM. and it sucks. When sometimes you've chosen the best options and have all the good intentions YET FATE WINS. I've been a huge mess lately. Doing what reckless and stupid teenagers do. Believe me, it's not funny anymore -- IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME. I promised myself that I won't be doing what THEY do but I found myself breaking and bending all the rules I made. It's just sad when you suddenly realize that YOU'VE BECOME THE PERSON YOU NEVER WANTED TO BE. I know I'm pretty stubborn but I was never this.....shitty :| I am happy, YES. but i feel that there's something wrong.

I'm baaaccckkkkkkk.

I abandoned my Blogspot account for a few months. :))

So okay, uh. I just realized that it's been almost half a year since I last typed here :))

dfgdfjgnfjngdkfdeow. And ALOT, I repeat, ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT has happened. Life's a bitch and now I do know how to fuck it well :> Things have changed and I must admit that I miss how it all used to be. :)) but I realized that there's no point in holding on to something 'cos everything is momentarily. Feelings fade, things change, people let go. In other words, this FEELING is going to end, sooner or later :)

Besides,

HAPPINESS DOESN'T COME FROM HAVING THE THINGS THAT YOU WANT OR THE THINGS YOU THINK YOU LACK , IT'S WANTING MORE OF WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE. ♥

thankyou awesome friends. thankyou amazing family.thankyou undescribable Papa God.

YOU ARE MY ROCK :)